Darn You, Circadian Rhythms.

“Welcome to The World of Sleep, can I get you a pillow? Oh. You don’t care? Why, here are some comfy beds and sheets!”

“Wait–Sir!”

Sir: *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

“Hey Mac! We’ve got another one over here! Just pile him on top of the others.”

“Aw, come on Mac! I did it last time! I’ll get ya a breakfast burrito!”

 

Sleep, most of us don’t care where, we just want it, and we want it now damnit!

I say this awake at 7 am having gone to sleep at about 2 am, whilst listening to Sonic Youth and choking on generic Mini Wheats.

 

Today’s scheduled programming ladies and gents:

7:00 am-12:00 pm: The World of Awake

12:00 pm-10:00 pm: Zombieland

10:00 pm-2:00 am: The Grey Static Fuzzy Zone

2:00 am-7 am: Miracles Do Happen

 

Enjoy ūüôā

I’ve known you for years, this is the first time I’ve met you.

hi.

Another Introduction type post, oy! 

“Hi, my name is so and so blahblahblah”

Ok, so no one actually says “blahblahblah” after they introduce themselves. As well they should, and whyyyyy you ask?!

I’ll tell you why World, it’s ‘ cause I think it’s not enough to introduce ourselves unless we demonstrate the essence of our personality or part of it (actions speak right?) that very minute.

THAT VERY MINUTE.

Say you are a dancer, for example: “My name is Claudia and I *tap tap twirl* dance”.

“My name is Arnold, *balances checkbook* and I just balanced your checkbook”.

OR.
OR.
OR.

How about throwing in some telling details?

Your favorite kinds of stickers? (Mine are the kind that stick. I know, I know, I’m craayyyyyyyy–)

Other examples:

“My name is Elmer, I want to create balloon animals that last forever.”

“My name is Stewart and I think that they should paint skyscrapers with glow in the dark paint”.

“I’m Marissa, stripes are neat”.
Switching things up a little ain’t too bad is it?

Fun galore!

HAHAHAHAHA—-time wasted.

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There was a man named Lou, 

He only had one shoe, 

He wished he had blue balloons, 

and 2 baboons. 

When asked, “Lou where is your other shoe?”¬†

He simply said, “Oh poo, I have no clue”¬†

Then the jellybean police came–Ok I am super done with this story, sorry folks, guess what?! LOU NEVER FINDS HIS SHOE.¬†

I have a lot of unfinished business, I am no stranger to this. 

Here are fiveeee:

1. My bed. 

2. Packing.

3. Starting an alternative-punk-garage-brit rock band.

4. Buying churros.

5. My neighbor’s evil cat.¬†

 

Whoa. 

Where is your other shoe? 

 

Wondrous Wreckage.

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Have you ever played a sad song over and over again so that you feel emotion?

There are those days when I feel the need to be pinched, to walk past a good smell, or experience a gust of cool wind and get goosebumps.

These are the battles that I face often, the battle to feel. To not fall prey to the cycle of motions we go through each day.

Then my less dramatic persona kicks in:

“Rocket, deeeeeeeuuuuuudddd, stop over thinking it all!”

(commences to stare at blinking line)

Then I start dancing. Or whistling at public places. Picking up litter that isn’t mine.

Making up oxymora to express my emotions.

(whistles; slowly exits into stage curtains)

Fade to black.

Mundane-ness Galore.

Got this topic off a prompt, and being completely strained of creativity I–blahblahblahblahblah.

Topic: “Five Things You See Around You Right Now”

(and it being 3:30 am in bed, I can’t say much)

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1. My cellphone.

The only time I know where my phone is in all certainty is at night (seriously? alarm clocks?! what is that popoola about?).

Other than that, I act like a crazy person hearing random noises from nowhere.

I don’t even know how I have come to this third sentence really (about a cellphone?!), ¬†but my little Blackberry has been a true pal, even¬†in the times that I have had it I have dropped it a zillion times, broken parts off of it, and called it “stupid f*cking phone” countless times, it still does things.

I mean, if I stare at it long enough I mean.

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2. Hair Tie.

This only gets more interesting.

Uhm, what can I say? It holds up my long hair, but most importantly I can use it for a slingshot.

Slingshots…seen any of those lately by the way?

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5. Hacky-sack.

A thing my hands throw as if they had a mind of their own. Also, almost NO ONE listens when you say “Hey, heads-up!”

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4. A pillow.

It’ll probably end up on the floor in the morning.

5. Keys.

Oh there they are!

The end. 

Good Ol’ Chap.

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May the comedy and daily/weekly blogging gods forgive me, for I have sinned. 

Eh. 

What’s the story here, you ask?¬†

There was one somewhere along the line, I swear. Then it took off, like kids who are offered Hot Tamales. 

I had been keeping it in my safe, it’s invisible, but it’s there.¬†

Me:¬†“Hey story, what do you want to do today?”

Story:¬†“…” (audible page flip)

Me:¬†“Ah, the silent treatment, that’s some good fun–right old chap?”

Story:¬†“Are you flipping kidding me?!” ,”Let me out now!!!”

Me:¬†“Oh chap, you are so silly. Want some Sour Patch Kids? I think I’m full”

Story:¬†“–stop calling me chap!!!”

 

And it somehow left. Now my story is out there somewhere, waiting to be found. So I guess I have to start a new one now. 

I might just have to leave ol’ Chap behind, but first, a candy refill. Stupid Chap did end up taking them.

 

 

I think my Brain’s name is Brian, or Brianna.

 

Oh the Brain.

Brains!!!!

Guts!!!

GLORY!!!

BLOOOD.

 

Back to the brain.

It’s something alright.

 

I mean, how little we really do know about it? ¬†Its why’s and stuff?

Although, we do know a few neat things about the brain, and then some.

 

A FEW FACTS ABOUT BRIANNA

 

  • The average adult brain weighs about 3 pounds (That’s like a box of sugar and a one pound bag of sour gummi worms).

(sorry for the drool)

 

 

 

  • An elephant’s, on the other hand, weighs¬†13 lbs and 3.64 oz (THINK OF HOW MANY GUMMI WORMS THAT WOULD BE?!).
  • The human brain consists of 60% fat.
  • When¬†conscious, our brains can generate between 10 and 23 watts of power (AHA!).
  • The brain can live 4-6 minutes without oxygen.
  • The number of average thoughts a day we have are about 70,000.
  • There are no pain receptors in the brain, it feels no pain (badass).
  • Our brain keeps things illuminated each time we blink (that way we don’t go crazy feeling like we’re in a room with an annoying sibling flicking the lights on and off).
  • Studies show that the brain shrinks after we hit 30 (I guess that makes some insults possible now, yikes).

 

 

 

WHOA AND GOODBYE.

 

 

Sources:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201202/brain-shrinkage-and-b-vitamins

http://www.brainhealthandpuzzles.com/fun_facts_about_the_brain.html

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/blink.html

http://www.sfn.org/index.aspx?pagename=brainfacts

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/facts.html