I like revelations, subtle ones that can be eye openers.
You know, the ones that come like a child tugging at your sleeve.
And those epiphanies tend to be the obvious ones.
I had discovered that I am not a fish out of water.
Most of my life, that is what I have felt, and I have been okay with that.
I felt like I was in the world only to observe it from the outside in, like the kid staring at the aquarium: curious, but not part of their world and not having consequence from it.
Call it part of growing up (sigh) or just being trapped in my mind, but that’s me.
The realization came from me roaming around the park, wearing earphones, listening to music as always. I like the music to stimulate me and move me as I observe the world around me, being a musician I am naturally inclined to this. The outside sounds are (obviously) drastically minimized when I listen to music through earphones. I almost always wear earphones when I go out to walk or run.
So, back to the park…
I was just sitting at a bench when I just saw people walking, talking, riding their bikes, driving. I saw the groups of tiny flies that swarm above the grass and in the light. I saw the traffic lights change, I saw the leaves rustling in the wind.
Then a thought popped in my head, “listen“. So out came the earphones, and I sat there and listened. After I heard my breathing joining in with the sounds that the ecosystem I was in produced, I felt like a participant of the world.
I, who takes sound as an important part of life: I like creating it, I study it, but didn’t really listen to it. Forgive my clicheness, but I heard and never listened.
Listened to the living, breathing world.
Ever had those days?